We're back in the saddle again...hoping to "ride" well.

As some of you may know last week we restarted our adoption journey. We are in the process of renewing our home study with Bethany Christian Services to move into a domestic, traditional infant adoption, and despite more paperwork and stuff to get done - we're back in the saddle.

And while that analogy is correct - picturing a ride on a horse is not how I would really describe the ride we've been on or look forward to. While a ride on a horse can certainly be wild and exhilarating, the image I believe fits better is that of a roller coaster.

Many of you probably know that I am quite the roller coaster enthusiast. Since I was very young I have always loved the thrill that came from riding them. And I'm picky about them - I certainly love the new steel coasters that have been computer generated to take one high into the air and twist and turn upside down and go very, very fast... BUT my love will probably always be the older, more rickety wooden coasters of the past. My favorites are the Thunderbolt at Kennywood and the Phoenix at Knoebel's. And, I have asked as my birthday present this year to travel once again to Cedar Point in Ohio to ride their many new and old thrilling coasters.

One might think that my love of coasters would make me a love of thrills - the ups and downs of all that life has to offer. Nothing could be farther from the truth. I wish that I could have complete control over all aspects, making sure that they conform to the "correct" specifications that I have determined... Life has not proved that out to me - control is something that God hasn't let me have - and for many good reasons.

And so - we look to what our new adventure brings, and how we will look to deal with the inevitable ups and downs of this new chapter. My desire you may ask - to ride well.There is a proper technique to riding a roller coaster - I won't get into the details, but it does involve hands in the air.

And riding well has been in the forefront of my mind for the last few weeks as we have recently been faced with the death of a beloved member of our church. A pillar to his family and to the operations of our church. Cancer is a terrible disease that I pray I may never have to witness devastate a body or family again. But during this terrible time we were privileged to see a man die well. His knowledge of God's sovereignty and love were instrumental in his being able to see the end of his suffering. And while the loss is more than we would ever want to feel, we can be comforted by his steadfastness.

But a question kept coming back to me - is it all about dying well? What about living well? Aren't we all called to die to our selves and to live with Christ? My life can so easily be spent making myself happy and to glorify myself. But truly my goal here is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. And that may mean to let go of the stuff that keeps me from doing that - stuff that makes life all about me.

This last year has been hard, but I confess I have not "died" well. When the answers to my desires was "no" I became much like a toddler in a temper tantrum. And so now I see many of those desires being transformed into new ones fit for our current journey. Ones that I could not entertain even a few short months ago.

So - as we jump back into the saddle and begin this renewed "thrill" ride may we glorify God and learn more, day by day, to die to our selfish desires and learn to live in Christ - in the ups and the downs.

We ask that you keep us in your prayers. We know that this process will probably take about 18 months of waiting along with much paperwork and much financial drain. But we feel renewed in our desire to move beyond ourselves and see what God has for us and our family. We will keep you posted on our progress.